BBN’s Personal Coach forum is not merely an intellectual exercise! Nor, is it an advice column in the traditional sense. For me to simply offer advice and send you away would make this an exercise about me being right, and less about helping you shift your perspective, which is the primary role of the “Ontological Coach” - the technique I practice. Instead, this is a personal invitation for you to participate in this new medium, the Coach’s Corner on BBN, to change your life now -- virtually.
The Coach’s Corner is a supportive space for you to try new ways of being, without judgment, in order to develop the capacity to embrace a different relationship with yourself, others, and the uncertainty that often accompanies life’s journey.
(BBN Editor’s Note: For you to get the full benefit of this forum we encourage you to read Marcus’s introduction to learn more about the coaching approach he is trained in).
In this process, I will introduce topics and invite you to answer questions, practice movements, use language intentionally, and share your progress with the group. We will cover issues such as:
1. Facing fear and adversity
2. Choice: How do I become different than I have always been?
3. Overcoming resentment and just being “pissed off!”
So, let’s get started! To begin, I request that you put aside all notions of what you think you know and with an open mind join me in this weekly conversation of learning together as a community.
To the Ontological Coach the purpose of conversation is to coordinate action. So, I invite you to observe your ways of being (thinking, behaving and speaking), and consider adopting new ways in an effort to discover new possibilities for your life. If you are tired of not being able to figure out what is holding you back from a better life, then take a deep breath and consider today’s assignment .
What is holding you back?
We are all observers of our environments who interpret what we see and act accordingly to produce certain results. Take this formula for instance: Observer +Actions = Results. This life formula is how patterns of behavior are developed and continued. Many of us attempt to change our Actions in order to get different results.
Take the act of dieting: we all know from personal experiences with diets that no matter how many of them we try we often don’t produce the results we want. We also see this in our relationships, where we encounter the same issues over and over and over again with different people, despite our best intentions. Then we either blame ourselves - the common denominator - which starts a spiral of self-loathing and self-doubt, or we go into denial and blame everyone else. Does this sound at all familiar?
OK, so, if changing our Actions doesn’t change results, the answer must lie with the Observers we are. And that is the formula (Observer + Actions = Results) I will use in BBN’s Coach’s Corner. Shift the Observer so that the Action is different and the Results will be different. It really is that simple, but not that simple.
Take a moment and think about this:
Awareness is the first step to transformation of whatever it is that you want to change; then you must declare it!
This forum will only work for you if you participate. Please send your responses to what I write to marcus@blackandbrownnews.com. In weeks to come our conversations will be informed by your examples, thoughts and questions.
I appreciate your courage and participation in BBN’s Coach’s Corner! Here’s to a healthier and more productive Black and Afro-Latino communities.
Your BBN Personal Coach,
Marcus
Copyright 2009 BlackandBrownNews.com
